One Week in, Nothing But Thanks to Trump Voters!

Dear Trump Voters! Just wanted to drop you a quick note of thanks for what you have brought the world so far. Sure you were feeling left out, marginalised by big business and globalisation, the water in Mexico tastes better than in Illinois and wearing a cap saying ‘make America great again made you feel good!’ He even talked about your ‘rusted-out factories, poverty-stricken families and crime-blighted cities, vowing to end “this American carnage”‘ on inauguration day.

You doubted the experience of those who said it would be a very bad idea, fair enough!. No ‘more of the same’ was the cry! The Russian ties were just fabrications. The conflicts of interest of his business ties were those who didn’t believe. OK we can give you a pass on the ‘Wall’ with Mexico as you’re definitely smart enough to know it’s almost impossible to build an “impenetrable, physical, tall, powerful, beautiful, southern border wall” almost 2,000 miles long across march lands and rivers or desert for $10 billion.

Again, thanks for Trump Voters…

Week One has been a cracker don’t you think?

A picture tell a thousand words

We learned, with thanks, that the largest gathering ever came to see his inauguration. Even though we looked at the pictures and say it was half empty.

Alternative Facts

A new tool for intelligent politics. We learned, with thanks, that if you don’t agree with the facts, you can just have your press secretary, Sean Spicer refer to ‘alternative facts‘ – what we, with thanks, call lies.

Women’s Marches draw millions

Thankfully he set us straight with his tweet ‘watched protests yesterday but was under the impression that we just had an election, why didn’t these people vote? Celebs hurt cause badly’

Celebs hurt cause badly

Thanks again, now we know that people who other people are watching or listening to, can hurt cause badly.

Abortion

In an effort to ‘stand up for all Americans, including the unborn’ he banned federal money going to International groups which perform or provide information on abortions. Thanks for stopping funding to health groups in poverty stricken countries.

Oil

Even Sarah Palin said thanks, well she said ‘drill baby drill’ as he signed two orders to back controversial oil pipelines – Keystone XL and the Dakota Access project – if American steel is used. The Sioux Indians and Environment said ‘thanks’

Waterboarding and Torture

High fives nowhere around, so thanks. He said he believed waterboarding works, stating “we have to fight fire with fire”.Even through Defence Secretary James Mattis and CIA director Mike Pompeo oppose this. Maybe the water companies are thankful.

#NoMuslimBan

Raising the level of thanks to a new height, Mr Trump’s halted the entire US refugee programme for 120 days, banned Syrian refugees and suspended all nationals from seven Muslim countries. As the Foreign Minister of Iran said, Trump just gave a ‘great gift to extremists‘

So thanks Trump voters, for what’s best known as a ‘shit sandwich!’

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