How to Nail the Perfect Handshake

The handshake is a dying form. But how many introductions have you found stumped and left awkwardly hovering with a simple nod and ‘alright’, as if you can’t get away quick enough? The handshake is a bond. It is a physical connection with whoever you meet, whether they be new or an old friend. Open your conversation with a handshake and you are immediately in a situation, rather than desperately searching for topics and questions like trying to clamber onto a raft.

The Classic Handshake

The most important part of the handshake is actually the immediately preceding moment of eye contact. This should start as you approach the person when you smile and greet them. At this point you break eye contact to ensure you catch their hand. A firm grasp and two light shakes is perfect. Do nothing to confuse the situation, like an alternative finger position or extended shake. Often you will find yourself overpowered by a harder shake and it is better you ‘ride’ this rather than compete against it. The tradition of ‘how do you do?’ is archaic and many will simply respond ‘fine thank you’, rather than the correct ‘how do you do?’ back. Instead, a relaxed ‘good to meet you’ or similar is fine.

Remember to always shake with your right hand. What to do when someone offers their left? Simply smile but maintain your right, since you likely both raised your hands at the same time.

It is fair to say that greeting with a handshake means parting with a handshake. If taking a more active role in this, being the one taking their leave, you should initiate this by reaching. This can be deployed well when rushing for a train or better engagement. No pleasantries just touch them on the shoulder to get their attention, apologise for leaving, shake and go. In the opposite case, say if you have been taken to the door, raise your hand modestly and allow them to take it.

This latter advice is best for situations when you don’t know if a handshake is appropriate or not. It always is, but in more casual situations with more shy people can seem very misplaced. Most of us can detect in our periphery when someone’s arm is politely moving towards us. If they don’t notice or seem perplexed by the idea, withdraw the hand and having made no action this will be forgotten about in a matter of seconds.

Olde Worlde Female Equivalent

Some see gender barriers as outdated and unnecessary, even patronising. Nevertheless, some men like to uphold such chivalric traditions as greeting a lady with more grace than you would greet your best man. This is largely a matter of personal taste. However, general guidance is that you should take a slower, gentler hold and lightly grasp the hand. The benefit of this is should they, and it is quite likely, prefer the classic then they control the shake.

There is no need to kiss her hand.

Alternatives and Variations

Many like to reinvent the handshake with a wealth of variations. Plenty of these are different cultural versions, but these have been appropriated in mainstream culture. The most popular is more of an arm-wrestle position, often paired with fist bumps and more. The high five has grown up to be quite acceptable in casual situations but remains a laugh.

Many organisations have their own secret or not so secret handshakes- such as the left-hand of the Scouts or the hidden Freemason kind.

Our advice? Rather like a suit or tie, the handshake is about conformity. Therefore, it might be the better option for an interview than a fistbump.

 

Stewart Vickers @VickHellfire

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